I've lived in this area for the past 23 years and I still feel as though I'm visiting. It doesn't feel like home. Yet this is where I raised my children. (Funny, none of them like it here either).
I wish I were brave enough to consider the possibility of moving.... to leave a well paying job and find a new place that beckons us to a life that is simpler, friendlier, less stressful.
I wish I had found *my home* years ago, but unfortunately my choices were limited. It was necessary to stay in this area until my older two daughters were adults. Then the recession hit, and we still couldn't leave. My husband had a good job, how could we justify a move? Perhaps if I knew where *my home* was, I would have tried harder.
Well, it appears the economy is still flat. So, here we stay....and try to make the best of it, knowing this is not our forever home.
But I want to be *home* now.
If only I were brave enough.
Are you living in a place you love?
I wish I were brave enough to consider the possibility of moving.... to leave a well paying job and find a new place that beckons us to a life that is simpler, friendlier, less stressful.
I wish I had found *my home* years ago, but unfortunately my choices were limited. It was necessary to stay in this area until my older two daughters were adults. Then the recession hit, and we still couldn't leave. My husband had a good job, how could we justify a move? Perhaps if I knew where *my home* was, I would have tried harder.
Well, it appears the economy is still flat. So, here we stay....and try to make the best of it, knowing this is not our forever home.
But I want to be *home* now.
If only I were brave enough.
Are you living in a place you love?
42 comments:
Start taking trips to the place you think might be a new home.
I love my home- but hate where it is--- far away from my grown kids. We will probably move in the next five to ten years to where our daughter has settled. It doesn't matter the location as long as the family is near.
Yes, I am. But. I'm ready to move on to another place, if thats what I need to do. Maybe another country too.
So, why dont you sit down with your family and ask them, what they would do if they got the chance. Ask yourself too. And start doing what ever need to be done. Step by step. :)
Love Houston and Texas! No state income taxes! And decent cost of living.
HS
We have loved living here (Portland) for a long time, but are ready to move on to a warmer, sunnier climate and a simpler, less stressful life. We're looking forward to the move, to getting rid of even more stuff that we just don't need any more.
We moved many, many time when my husband was in the navy. Some places we liked more than others, some places felt more like home than others. But ultimately, home was (is) where ever my family
was (is).
Moving and adjusting to a new location can be hard, especially on children, no matter their ages. But if you are positive and remain positive, they will be too.
New to blogging, so please be patient with me as I learn!
Our dream is to move here: http://saltspringtourism.com/. I too wish I was brave enough to just ditch it all here. We really like where we live but know it's totally home because our heart belongs on little SS island. We are working towards an eventual move there but the things that hold us back include our careers (bomming right now), our kids (getting married, having babies) and our friends! Our one solution is to sell everything here, buy a small condo and then buy our "forever home" on SS. Commute until we're no longer needed here.
One day!
Justice
I like where I live yes, but I love that I am able to see and experience living like a local in a lot of my travels. While I love my time away, I love coming back home. that's how I know I am really happy here.
yes the house needs work but the land and stuff is awesome.
If you had a plan in place and an actual location you wanted to move to, I'm sure in a few years you could make it happen :-)
I feel like I am in the complete opposite boat. I have found my home that I could see myself staying in forever, but we are set to be moving any time this year.
I am sorry you feel this way. I have felt like that before but we are always just a few years away from moving so I always try to think of the next place. This is the first time I kind of don't want to go.
I love the area where we live but I don't like so many things about our house. When we bought it 3 years ago, we were hoping to move in about 5 years...Well, it's not happening any time soon. But at least, we have plenty of space for our family and even space to grow.
I really truely love where I live! I have a hard time imagining living anywhere else. Although that maybe a possiblity soon now that my husband is finished with school. Hopefully he will find a good paying job around here though. We will see!
This post really hit home with me tonight. We moved 6 years ago to a different city to be closer to family. We really like the city, but I've tried not to get attached to this house. I know it's not where we'll stay through our retirement. I hope you can find some peace with where you live.
Yes I am living where I want to be, but it took time. Our first house was during the ressession of 1980's when interest rates were over 10%. Can you imagine? But they were. Everything we had went on that mortgage.It was 15 years ago when we moved, took the leap to what we wanted and then the time was right, and the money well in hand, however I was 40 by then. I never want to move, but I know there will be a time we will have to.
I am... I love our home, my kids love it, I'm so very grateful. :)
Texas is awesome, if I did not live next to my family I would live there. Wherever you decide to live, though, I think there will always be trade-offs.
When we moved to Lewiston Idaho, population 28,000 ,24 years ago, I hated it. It was small, people were as far as I was concerned ignorant, mean spirited, lacked imagination, had no culture, on and on you name it. I thought this was a stepping stone and it wasn't. So I had to get over my prejudice because the problem was me and bloom where I was planted. This community needs me and I need them. I realize that you are talking the DC area and that is hard. Traffic, taxes big city problems, but look at all that your kids are exposed to (the good), all the advantages they have outside of our rural area. If you leave there you give up some great amenities.
It took us 3-4 moves until we found our "home". I have 10 more years till my kids are all grown and out of the house. Then, I am moving to the beach.....that is "my home".
Amy
Crazyclutterlady.blogspot.com
Sharon,
One of the most difficult things I have ever done in my life was to leave my home of 16 years (The Hamptons, Long Island, NY) and downsize to a simpler life. But I knew in 2001 that I could no longer sustain my life and lifestyle. The Hamptons was becoming the land of the haves and the have-nots and I was slowly becoming one of the have-nots.
So, here I am living my downsized and very affordable new life in the Hudson Valley, NY. The 1st 3 years here had been very difficult. But now, a full 10+ years later, I wake up each and every morning thanking God that I am so blessed to be living here! I absolutely adore it! It has every single thing I could ever want. Yet, I had no idea when I settled here that it would turn out so wonderful.
"If you build it, they will come." Since I've moved here, the supermarket has expanded, the hospital has expanded and offers so many wonderful medical technological advances, the shopping, the food, the culture, the entertainment, the restaurants, the good clean, fresh mountain air......I could go on and on.
I moved when I turned 50. Don't wait to long. It gets more difficult as you age. Both my daughters were in college at the time. The youngest took one year to forgive me for selling 'her house'!
All is forgiven. We are all happy.
I would never have thought almost 20 years ago where we are now would be home, however all of our children are settled here and have started families of their own so we would never leave at this point. We were in a rural comunity when we first moved here but the city is starting to take over, thankfully there are enough old timers around that welcomed us into their small town way back when, we are here to stay
I love Philadelphia. Its always been my home and though I hope my children travel and see the world I am comfortable here. Originally our plan was to buy land in the mountains after the kids had grown but I am no so sure about that anymore
I do believe I am "home". I have come to learn that home is where ever you decide to make it. You see I married a farmer, our first house was on a property that the farm leased, it wasn't flash, but it had million dollar views of the mountains. We only intended to be there 2 years max, 7 years later after having 2 children and having made it our "home" we had to move as my husbands parents were retiring from the family homestead. I was excited to move to a much bigger home, but sad to leave the wee house on the hill that held so many wonderful memories. I was also unsettled by moving into the MIL's house as she is quite a dominant person, whose comments always come bearing some 'weight'. However 13 years down the track we have made it home. Yes I have been lucky enough to be able to redecorate most of it so far, have made several changes in the garden and have endured many comments over the years that have been less than diplomatic, but it is now our "home" with our memories made by our family. So yes I am "home" - a choice I made many years ago. As I have never actually chosen a "home" myself due to the family farming situation I do think that one day I will have another "home" chosen by ourselves and I look forward to creating it and making more wonderful memories.
Good luck Sharon, I hope you find "home" sometime soon. If you believe, anything is possible :)
I've done exactly the same - stayed in an area that doesn't feel like home, never has, because of the childrens schooling, jobs etc, but we've spent the last five years, and will spend possibly the next 2/3, getting ready to move to somewhere that feels more like home.
I'd start making plans, taking trips, start looking at areas. Is the lake area totally out now?
"Home is where the heart is". I wish you were content. My area has always been my home. I know nothing different. But still, I do wish our house could be bigger. One day!
Take care, m.
No, London ON isn't home to me. Neither is the village that I lived in as a child growing up. But when we went to PEI two years ago it felt like home instantly. When you find it you'll know. I like Janette's idea of taking trips to different places. Sorry that you're feeling displaced! That's a long time to spend in a place you don't feel at home in.
You know - it is sort of funny - this forced move that we have to make, if it works how we are 90% sure it will, we will be in a place we love. Here's hoping!!!!
We felt the same way long after moving to our current city. Top it off with not really liking our house and it is easy to feel stuck. We improved our lives by focusing on what we do like - friendly, interesting neighbors and coworkers; a good and stable job for hubby and work for me; easy access to the arts and restaurants; etc. Not an answer but it improved the quality of our life in the present.
We don't plan to stay once we retire but don't know where we will go. We always said back to LA but it feels overwhelming now for aging. Have to see where are children are when the time comes.
I really fell for you and this post. I haven't lived in any one place for very long other than my parents' house, but even that was not feeling like a 'home'. I made it one of my life goals to find a 'home', even though I am aware I will not even come close to achieving that until after I move in another 3.5 years. It is hard. But if you can't make the house a home, at least try to make the people you love and spend time with your 'home'. After all, home is where your heart is. At least until you can move.
We are most certainly NOT home. We decided in 2005 after living here for 5 years that we were done. We have been trying to relocate ever since.
Do you have any idea where you think you would like to go?
Yes I am in my forever home been here 30 yrs..I knew at a young age what I wanted.And my girlfriends know ONE is my number.. 1 husband,1 child,1 dog,and 1 house LOL I always knew this to be true.Knowing where and being settled in your life gives you a peaceful calm and you will know when you have found that place.
I love where our new home is... for years I *stalked* a certain area of a nearby county dreaming of when I could live there. The recession hit and drove down prices, and with the hoop jumping of buying a short sale house..... We are home.
I know exactly how you feel. I lived in Albuquerque until I was 27 and then moved to rural Alabama. Not only did I totally miss the Mexican food, the laid back pace of life, and the gorgeous sunsets and mountains, I missed the acceptance of all thing different. I really didn't feel at home in Alabama the first 15 years I was here, then one day I woke up and realized it was home. Maybe that will happen for you too.
When you said what you were looking for in a new home - it seemed like you were looking for a release from some pressures and wanted a more relaxed lifestyle. You can find that anywhere - you just have to make the choices to get there. It is easier when you move but you can still do it where you are living today.
BTW - I love your blog and the way you think!
I moved to an area 22 years ago from where I grew up because I knew that wasn't "home" I love the area, absolutely gorgeous and I was able to afford my dream house a farmhouse on 10 acreas, the town has left a bit to be desired, but after being here so long, it is now home, we know people, have friends are involved with the schools, who would have thunk...home really is where your heart is
@Janette - That's a good idea...I know I want to be near family, the mountains, a lake...hmmm...just not sure!
@ege denne - Wow, another country? You are adventurous! You are right, I need to figure it out and start planning.
@HS - Glad you love your location! I like "no state tax".
@Laura - It's great that you know where you want to move - I have no idea! We probably won't move until my youngest goes to college in 3 years.
@Justice, Wow! sounds like a great plan - I have the same issues - good job, kids getting older, marriage, etc. I think I'll be happy if I could just figure out where I want to live...
@CS, I love that about your travels. Also, it helps that you live close to your parents, and pretty darn *close* to your sister too!
@Niki - I LOVE your home too! Hey, maybe I can move there...:)! I would not do well moving all the time, although I would imagine it's fun to see all parts of the country!
@Lena - Funny, I love our house, just not the area!
@Melissa - I love to hear that. I hope someday I'll be able to say the same thing.
@Grammy, Do you know where you want to retire? I think that's our biggest decision...
@simplicity, I love that you took a chance to move...
@Carla - that's awesome - I hope to feel the same way some day.
@the lost goat - I wish I lived closer to family, but it's the whole job thing...
@Kim, yes, there are many amenities that come with this area. But it's changed a lot since I've moved here years ago. It's gotten very competitive. It's not where I want to stay, for sure.
@Amy, The beach? Sounds great!
@Morrison, My husband's job keeps us here. My daughter has already moved away, and I'm not sure where the other three will end up. Ultimately I want to be near family, but this area is so populated, and has changed too much for my liking. I'm glad it worked out for you..and, of course, that you were forgiven!
@Debby, that sounds nice - it started out nice here too, but changes over the years have made it less than desirable.
@Judy - I love that you live in your hometown...I'm not sure my hometown has any jobs!
@Sandra - Thanks! I loved reading your story - I feel hopeful that I still have a chance!
@Laura - I thought I wanted to move to the lake, but our trip last year changed my mind. I didn't think I'd do well in such a depressed area (even though the lake was BEAUTIFUL!)
@Mark - Yes, home is where ever your heart/family is. For sure. One daughter has already moved away, I suspect my other three will do the same. My parents and siblings live in NY and PA. So, no family here... Here's hopin you get that big house!
@Jane - I'm so jealous you are all set....you know where you want to go and PEI is very beautiful!
@JP, I hope it works out JP!!
@Juhli - I guess we'll have to wait until retirement too..although that is another 15 years away...ugh.
@Tanner - I'm so sorry you never felt at home. Limbo is an awful state of being. I hope you are able to find a wonderful place to call home soon!
@Mysti - I have no idea, how about you?
@Lita, that sounds absolutely wonderful!
@Lisa, I'm so glad- plus you live close to your parents - a definite plus.
@NWilliams, Thank you for sharing! Albuquerque to Alabama?? that's a big difference, for sure. Glad you were able to make it home.
@Frugal, Farmhouse on 10 acres? Wow..sounds wonderful! Home really is where your heart is. :)!
Yes we are living in our forever dream home.
Moved during the last recession, brave but it was the right time.
Hope you can work this out Sharon!
Sft x
I love where I live NOW. Who knew I was really a big-city gal? Well, honestly, I did, but my first job took me back to my small, coastal hometown and there I remained for the next 18 years. I don't regret it exactly but I left within six months of my parents deaths. When I retire, I will NOT be moving back. There's too much I love about cities.
I love the house, but not the community. It is awful!
Home , for me , is in the world largest island.
Take a look at steadysarawak.blogspot.com
i do love where i live (we've been here 18 years). that feeling came when we really made connections - we had kids in school, had a church family, and had made some very close friends. there was a time in my life where i wasn't brave enough to move further away from where "home" was but we're talking about doing just that when our girls our out of school and on their own.
try taking trips to where you think you want to live. talk with your family; they may surprise you and be brave enough to move sooner than you think!
Yes, I'm home. Mostly because I my husband and I grew up here and our families are here. And I love the Midwest. Love it.
I do fantasize about living other places at times, though. Mostly on the East Coast.
I hope you get to live in a place that's home soon.
I love where we live. I wake up in the morning and look out the window and this is exactly where I want to be. That said, I have really, really liked almost everywhere that I've lived.
Ten years ago my husband had a contract in London and we rented a flat in Kilburn. It was mid-winter, cold, grey and we loved it. A year later we sold everything to move to London permanently but, to cut a very long story short, my husband's job fell through. Nine years later and I'm still waiting for the right time to try again - hopefully in a few year's time. It is very hard to feel settled when you know that you don't belong somewhere. I really hope you find your forever home soon.
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